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A
Bit of Aussie Tourist Humour
These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the
answers are the actual responses by the website officials,
who obviously have a sense of humour _________________________________________________
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen
it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around
watching them die.
__________________________________________________
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
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Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the
railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
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Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can
you send me a list of them in Brisbane , Cairns ,Townsville
and Hervey Bay ? ( UK )
A: What did your last slave die of?
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Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in
Australia ? ( USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of
Europe .
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific
which does not
... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday
night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
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Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when
you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
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Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
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Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA
)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y,
which is ...
oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday
night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come
naked.
__________________________________________________
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
A: You are a British politician, right?
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